Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
