bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
