My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
