I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
