we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
