Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
