my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
