just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
