Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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