so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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