I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
