I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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