Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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