Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
