If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
