More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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