So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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