i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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