So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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