I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
