perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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