HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How naked do you want me to be?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
