I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
