and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
