also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
