I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
