i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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