he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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