My room smells like vodka and shame
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
