Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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