We're facebook friends in real life
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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