ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
