What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
why is half of my head shaved?
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