I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
