I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think im going to throw up on grandma
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
