Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
