wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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