I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
