i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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