Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
