I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
