I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
