driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
