i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
