if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
