Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
