I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize