so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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