so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize