Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
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