So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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