I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
