they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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