He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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