i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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