i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
