it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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