oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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