You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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