Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
