Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
