one two three fourrrrnication!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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