Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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