They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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