Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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