WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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