dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
