sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
