How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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