1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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