Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
