You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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