the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
