Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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