Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
