hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
