Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
