Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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