Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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